Living with Extreme 
                Instruments #008, 
                the Subcontrabass Flute
              
The 
                relatively recently developed subcontrabass 
                flute is very heavy, extremely rare, 
                and requires the lungs of a rhinoceros 
                and forearms like Popeye to play properly. 
                It initially attracted me for a number 
                of reasons. As a composer my ear always 
                gravitates towards the lowest notes 
                in an orchestra; the trouser-flapping 
                bass emerging from a Cavaillé-Coll 
                organ, or the resonant thud and grind 
                from horn-loaded loudspeakers. As flautists 
                however, we’re almost invariably playing 
                tunes and ‘fannying about’ on top of 
                the texture, so when I was given the 
                opportunity to play Friesian flute-maker 
                Jelle Hogenhuis’ original subcontra 
                prototype, borrowed from him for a flute 
                orchestra project, I leapt at the chance. 
                The thing was made with roughly hewn, 
                filed and melted plastic; mouse-mat 
                keypads cut with scissors and screwed 
                onto plywood, and rusty bent wire keys 
                and joints held together with twine 
                and rubber bands. It gave me horrific 
                internal wrist injuries almost immediately 
                and trying to wring delicately limpid 
                Debussy arrangements out of it was a 
                major challenge, but I loved it nonetheless. 
              
              My potential as a multi-instrumentalist 
                is hampered somewhat by both lack of 
                available study time and poverty, which 
                means that I am unlikely ever to learn, 
                or own, a double-bass, a tuba, or a 
                Sousaphone. With the subcontrabass flute 
                having the same fingerings as your standard 
                flauto grande, all I really 
                had to do was educate myself on the 
                various stages of hyperventilation. 
                My friend Hans Witteman the great bass 
                clarinet player told me all about this 
                in the early days, but as he was instructing 
                me I realised he was only putting into 
                words what I had experienced already. 
                The dizziness, stars in front of the 
                eyes, tingling extremities, ringing 
                in the ears and ‘the shakes’ are just 
                preliminary indications: the point at 
                which one should stop is when you turn 
                out to be playing completely different 
                notes to the ones written, and realise 
                that you have become entirely incapable 
                of correcting this peculiarity. Developing 
                the lungs of a rhinoceros and the forearms 
                and embouchure of Popeye are purely 
                incidental side-effects. I just apply 
                the anchor tattoo and take a tin of 
                spinach before each concert – detail 
                is everything in contemporary music. 
              
              I am frequently to 
                be seen playing subcontra in the Netherlands 
                Flute Orchestra. For many years the 
                orchestra’s principal bottom was a mere 
                contrabass flute, also built by Jelle 
                Hogenhuis, which, with a little subtle 
                amplification, seemed adequate enough. 
                The addition of the subcontra has however 
                made a significant difference to the 
                orchestra’s sound. Comparing recordings 
                now, it is like the difference between 
                an organ with 16 foot pedal, and one 
                with a 32 foot register. Such high artistic 
                considerations were however secondary 
                to me at the time. Jelle Hogenhuis makes 
                his heavy bass flutes from attractively 
                economic PVC tubes, and all I wanted 
                was to be ‘the one at the back with 
                the big heap of drainpipes’. Mine is 
                numbered SBC 008, and privately I call 
                it ‘Bill who is Resting’, although ‘Felix 
                Leiter’ would have been a more recognisable 
                reference. If I’m too loud, the conductor 
                gets to ‘Kill Bill’. We do have such 
                fun.
              I started playing the 
                standard flute at the age of nine after 
                the traditional recorder initiation 
                period, and was unaware of any discrimination 
                against my instrument before moving 
                to The Netherlands fifteen years later. 
                My old teacher at the RAM, the late 
                great Gareth Morris, told me that in 
                his time flute players were among the 
                tougher members of the orchestra, often 
                to be seen playing with smoke rising 
                from a fag wedged between the fingers, 
                a skill I later also acquired - pretentiously 
                and fleetingly - using cigars. In the 
                1980s in Holland, I heard a now well-known 
                composer who shall remain nameless stating 
                that he ‘hated the flute’ after nonetheless 
                having written a flute piece for one 
                of those student melting-pot workshop 
                evenings in a local theatre. "If you 
                hate it, why write for it?" someone 
                asked, "I don’t know" was the lame reply, 
                which followed an equally lame piece. 
                There seemed to be no real excuse or 
                reward for prostituting his art to the 
                loathed tube other than ensuring another 
                moment in the small-time limelight. 
                This, to me, seems one of the reasons 
                we have no-one of the stature of a Beethoven 
                in our time. OK, Mozart reportedly hated 
                flutes as well, but what he probably 
                hated more were flautists who were incapable 
                of playing in tune with their primitive 
                pipes. He still managed to create works 
                of genius for the instrument, even if 
                it was only because he needed the money. 
                One of the reasons he spent so much 
                time in the pub playing billiards and 
                writing dirty canons might indeed just 
                have been in order to avoid having to 
                listen to them. 
              Our Dutch composer 
                was in fact more probably reacting against 
                the romantic French style and repertoire 
                often represented by willowy girls in 
                today’s Conservatoires. The Hogenhuis 
                subcontrabass flute is by far the least 
                flute-like of any of the Boehm-system 
                flutes currently made, and to me is 
                the 1950s flute-cred equivalent of performing 
                with a smouldering Churchill in one 
                hand: eccentric and extrovert, but undeniably 
                making a statement - that statement 
                possibly either being "what smoking 
                ban?" or "I can play the flute and do 
                you a small barbecue at the same time." 
                It has the same sounding range as a 
                properly tuned five-string double bass, 
                and with Jelle Hogenhuis’s wide-bore 
                drainpipe proportions the lower range 
                has a punch and weight which even satisfies 
                most down-to-earth Dutchmen and even 
                some jazz musicians. It also features 
                a cleverly reversed key mechanism in 
                order to cope with the U-bend, something 
                guaranteed to break the ice at flute 
                conventions. I have to admit that it’s 
                probably the only kind of flute on which 
                you can play Louis Andriessen’s ‘Worker’s 
                Union’ in an ensemble of amplified guitars 
                and power brass without sounding impossibly 
                twee and silly. You can play 
                almost anything written for the flute 
                on the subcontra, but its low tessitura 
                and the size of its noisy keys flapping 
                like a seal’s flippers safely remove 
                this instrument from effectively performing 
                Berbiguier Etudes or the fast bits in 
                Kuhlau. Attempts to do so result in 
                a clattering, asonorous soundness and 
                either acute repetitive strain injury 
                or Popeye forearms. I have recently 
                started sitting in with a new band called 
                The Hague Improviser’s Orchestra, and 
                discover new things about both myself 
                and the instrument at each rehearsal 
                and concert. The key thuds can give 
                a good slap-bass imitation, or can take 
                on almost any percussion instrument 
                you can name. The bizarre effects from 
                singing into and around the thing can 
                create a zoo of animals, or shifts in 
                perspective which beg for a new Sequenza. 
                Oom-pah basses are of course highly 
                effective fun, but if you take over 
                the melody in a sweetly elegant salon 
                waltz it creates complete collapse in 
                both the audience and the other ensemble 
                members, such is the gruffly humorous 
                rendition which inevitably emerges: 
                imagine the Flower Duet sung 
                by Tom Waits and the late Arthur Mullard, 
                and you’ll be somewhere close. 
              In its own right the 
                subcontrabass flute is capable of surprisingly 
                mellifluous expressiveness – especially 
                in the upper registers. Variety of colour 
                and dynamic range are available throughout 
                the whole scale, even if some party-trick 
                fingerings are required toward the extreme 
                heights of middle C. My good friend 
                Richard Sims has been ‘writing’ a live 
                electronics piece for me and my instrument 
                for many years now, and at an early 
                stage reported that the overtones and 
                harmonics of the subcontra are similar 
                in timbre and richness to a great Prague 
                bell he sampled for some of the effects 
                used. Without circular breathing there 
                are limitations to the length of legato 
                passages playable, but achieving true 
                continuous power is troublesome. I swelled 
                with pride when, during one of his excellent 
                classes, Robert Dick complimented me 
                on my repertoire of grunts, squafs and 
                plorks on the thing – helpfully pointing 
                out to the assembled willowy girls how 
                very difficult the thing was to play. 
                He had previously bought an earlier 
                example of the Hogenhuis subcontra but 
                ended up selling it in frustration, 
                seeing it as having broken the law of 
                diminishing returns. To him the most 
                notable thing about the instrument was 
                its huge case, which "was like having 
                your grandmother’s coffin leant against 
                a wall in your room." He liked my more 
                recent example however, making it sound 
                like a mechanically enhanced didgeridoo 
                with his effortless circular breathing, 
                simultaneously deflating my ego and 
                inspiring me on the spot. 
              Few will admit this, 
                but showing off is all part of being 
                the full-fat bass in any orchestra, 
                and being the one at the back with the 
                big heap of drainpipes has great attention-grabbing 
                potential – the charm of which is somewhat 
                cancelled out at close range by the 
                Popeye embouchure and forearms, and 
                that last bit of spinach stuck in the 
                teeth. When someone points at your instrument 
                case and says "wow, that’s a big one" 
                there’s something spiritually satisfying 
                about being able to reply, "yes, but 
                that’s only the head-joint." What Gerard 
                Hoffnung would have made of it we can 
                only speculate, but I like to think 
                he would have loved the thing and ordered 
                one on the spot. 
              There is never a dull 
                moment with a subcontrabass flute. I 
                shall however spare you tales of the 
                specialist vehicles and whale harpooner’s 
                upper-body strength required for transporting 
                such an instrument, or how I once knocked 
                an unfortunate woman under a train at 
                Utrecht Central Station with it - no 
                serious injuries to the flute, I hasten 
                to add... 
              Dominy Clements